


I Ain't Afraid of No Ghosts!

by peachpit_gabe



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell, Simon Snow & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Library, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Ghostbusting (Ghostbusters), M/M, Multi, Paranormal, ghost moms, kissing in front of the books, these books have seen too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27197314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachpit_gabe/pseuds/peachpit_gabe
Summary: An AU where our gang works at the Watford Public Library. Shep is convinced it's haunted and shennanigans ensue! Told in POV of Simon and Baz as well as Security and ghost hunting Camera snippets!
Relationships: Penelope Bunce/Shepard, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 11
Kudos: 49
Collections: Carry On Fall Exchange 2020





	1. When There's Something Strange In Your Local Library

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Adamarks](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adamarks/gifts).



> Jay! I hope you like this! Thank you to [Derek](https://archiveofourown.org/users/banjjakbanjjak/pseuds/banjjakbanjjak) for beta-ing!

**Simon**

I’m wrapping up a craft project with the lil’uns when I hear Penny and Shep arguing in hushed tones down the hall. I wrap up my cleaning and let the other librarian know I'm going on my break. I make my way down the hall and start to hear the bickering better.

“That’s the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard, absolutely not!” Penelope sort of...whisper shouts.

“C’mon Pennnn, your mom would be ok with it, she loves learning more about the library so she’d definitely go for it!” Shep barely whispers back, he’s not great at following the quiet rule. Then again...neither am I half the time.

_**[Hallway Junction Security Cam 3 Footage Oct. 29 2018 3:48 PM] Audio and Visual Transcription]** _

**Shepard** [tall and gangly, african american male, wearing wire frame glasses, cuffed corduroy trousers, a white shirt, and an enamel pin adorned denim jacket]: I was thinking we’d set up night vision cameras and microphones and see what shows up.

**Penelope** [short, plus sized, indian, curly hair/ wearing cat eye frame glasses, a plaid skirt, mary jane loafers, and a burnt orange sweater]: * _whispered_ * Nothing is going to show up because there is no such thing as ghosts! 

**Shepard:** Simon! Hey man, do you want to ghost hunt on Halloween night??

**Penelope:** I haven’t even said yes, and on top of that neither has my mother!

**Simon** [bronze curly hair, freckled skin, wearing a grey henley and black work trousers]: Where are the ghosts? _*Simon moves closer to the other two individuals. Camera picks up a fourth person behind a bookcase at this time*_

**Shepard:** Here! In this library, I’ve been reading on the message boards that this has been a hot spot of activity! _*the young woman identified as “Penny” scoffs and rolls her eyes*_

**Simon:** I’d be in! I love ghost stories!

_[A fourth person approaches from behind the aforementioned bookshelf.]_

**Basil** [tall, red copper skin, stark black hair with a widow’s peak, wearing work trousers and a lavender button up]: Sure you won’t get scared off by things that go bump in the night Snow?

**Simon:** _*a blush appears across his cheeks*_ ‘Course not! I’d like to see you deal with a haunting, Baz!

**Baz:** Hah, my house is already haunted, this is nothing.

**Shepard:** _*visibly excited*_ Wait? Your house is haunted too? You have to tell me everything! 

_[Basil, Penelope, and a book shelver walking by all shush Shepard]_

**Penelope:** _*waves over the bookshelver*_

_[The bookshelver is a tall young woman with long blonde hair. she is wearing simple blue jeans and a teal cardigan over a white camisole.]_

**Penelope:** Agatha can you please tell them there are no ghosts in the library?

**Agatha:** _*looks around at the group, notices Simon is a little tense as soon as she came over*_ Why? It’s an old building...there’s probably some ghouls lurking in the stacks upstairs. _*she smirks*_

_[The group breaks out into hushed debate. Basil glances over to Agatha and from the shot we see Simon get flushed.]_

**Agatha:** I’ve got to get back to shelving the books, but I’m sure you’ll all figure this out. _*she rolls her book cart away*_

**Shepard:** It’s settled then! We all meet here on Halloween night and ghost hunt!

**Penelope:** _*sighs heavily*_ ONLY...if my mother approves it! Simon you should let Aggie know, she should see this ridiculousness in person too.

**Simon:** _*stammering*_ I...uh well Pen, you know we...we broke up? 

_[At this, Baz does a barely visible double take in Simon’s direction.]_

**Penelope:** Yes...I know Si, doesn’t mean you can’t ask her...but it’s fine I’ll ask her. _*she rolls her eyes, slightly magnified behind her cat-eye rims*_ C’mon Shep, let’s go tell my mother your heinous plan.

**Shepard:** Heinous?? I like to think of it as GENIUS!!! Also if you look through the old -

_[Their dialogue is cut off from walking away. We now only see Simon and Baz standing awkwardly near each other.]_

**Simon:** So...uh are you going to come ghost hunting on Halloween? _*a faint blush creeps up his neck and cheeks*_

**Baz:** _*his left eyebrow raises*_ Of course, can’t miss an opportunity to see you scared out of your pants by a rogue shadow, can I Snow?

_[Simon chuckles and waves goodbye to Basil as he goes back to his post in the library’s children’s room. Baz’s head leans back as he seems to let out a deep sigh. From what is seen of his face, a light blush is apparent.]_

**Baz**

I know when someone is head over heels about someone else when they give into said person’s idiocy. It’s why I’ll pick up shifts in Children’s for Snow even though I hate the tiny goblins. This is how I know that Penelope Bunce is madly in love with the American bloke even though she won’t admit it. I’m shelving books when I overhear the conversation between the three. I'd like to admit that I was shelving to be productive, but in reality I was trying to catch glances at Snow. 

_  
_ Somehow I’ve landed myself into this discount Scooby Doo Scenario in which I shall be “hunting for ghosts” with the object of my affection, Simon fucking Snow, who is (to my surprise) now single! I can’t believe I made a “scare your pants off” dig at him, I’m an embarrassment to myself and everything. He...blushed at me though? I can’t read into it. I have to go on this slap-happy stupid adventure and mock him relentlessly to preserve my dignity. Happy Halloween to me, I suppose.


	2. Who Ya Gonna Call?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for for my betas! [AmphipodGirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ampithoe/pseuds/Ampithoe) and [Derek](https://archiveofourown.org/users/banjjakbanjjak/pseuds/banjjakbanjjak)

**Baz**

For some godforsaken reason, Bunce’s mother has handed over the library keys to five unsuspecting 20-somethings to “ghost hunt” of all things. The American (Shepard - as Simon keeps reminding me) has made a list of areas we are supposed to be inspecting for signs of “ghostly activity.” Honestly it’s all rubbish but I’m quite excited to see Simon get spooked by a rogue shadow. A thought of him jumping scared into my arms comes into my mind and I shake my head at the absurdity of it. There is something wrong with me. 

**__**

**_[Main Reading Room: Security Cam 1 Footage Oct. 31 2018 10:31pm] Audio and Visual Transcription_ **

**Shepard:** Okay!  _ *he claps his hands together*  _ I’m thinking we set up cameras here and in the basement where people have seen the most activity!

**Simon:** _ *sifting through Shepard’s bags of equipment*  _ Wow! This stuff is incredible! Do they have night vision?

**Shepard:** Of course! The three main areas of activity are the portrait of the original director in this room, the old printing press in the basement, and third floor book stacks. 

**Agatha:** _ *picking at one of her fingernails*  _ I call watching down here for the ghosts.

**Penelope:** Aggie, if you didn’t really want to come, you just had to say so.

**Agatha:** _ *she walks over to a desk chair behind the circulation counter and becomes slightly out of view*  _ Seriously, it’s cool. I can be like a lookout for anything down here, and I want to text Ginger anyway. She’s going to a house party in California and is going to send me photos of celebs she spots!

_ [Shepard is seen powering up his camera and setting up his tripod] _

**Shepard:** Sure! You can be the main ghost camera guard. I’m going to leave this facing you, Agatha, and it’ll be in night vision mode. If you hear anything weird that’s not in frame you can move it and try to capture it!

_ [Agatha gives a salute and spins in her chair. Shepard turns to the rest of the gang, swings his equipment bag over his shoulder, and claps his hands.] _

**Shepard:** Shall we?

  
  


**Simon**

Shepard pulls out his second camera and points it ahead as we walk through the first floor stacks. Everything has been normal so far and I’m starting to think Penny is right about there being no such thing as ghosts until we hear a rustling two shelves over. I bristle and hear Baz snicker in front of me. 

“Come off it,” I say, “Weird noises will spook anyone in a dark empty building!” Shep and Penny have moved ahead and turned down the aisle to find the source of the noise. I can hear their hushed whispers even as they get farther away; the building has weird acoustics, I guess.

Baz turns around to look at me. “I was just thinking Bunce’s hair was looking so big today that it might be rustling the book spines.” He’s smirking and he lets out a tiny huff, like he’s trying to to laugh at his own joke.

Baz made a joke. That’s weird. I sort of like it when he chuckles like that. His mouth turns at the corners and you can see little dimples. Weird. I need to prove I'm not afraid of this stuff so I take the lead in front of Baz. That's when a door bangs loudly behind us and I swing back and barrel into him. Shit.

**__**

**_[First Floor Stacks: Security Cam 4 Footage Oct. 31 2018 10:58pm] Audio and Visual Transcription_ **

_ [Two figures identified as Simon and Basil are on the floor in a heap. Simon’s hand is over Basil's chest and he springs off quickly.] _

**Simon:** Shit! Shit, uh sorry. *he springs off his knees back onto his feet and rubs the back of his head awkwardly*

**Baz:** Well Snow, you are surely proving your merit against the ghosts this evening. *he stands up as well and briskly brushes the backs of his trousers*

_ [Two more figures come around a row of shelves, identified as Shepard and Penelope. Shepard has his camera out and a small electrical device in his hand. It is lit up and buzzing.] _

**Shepard:** Did you guys hear that?!? My EVP device is going crazy! I’m going to go over and use the spirit box... *he shuffles towards the door and pulls out a box with a dial on it*

_ [The other three move over to where Shepard is. Shepard turns on the box, which emits a noise of repeated radio static.] _

**Shepard:** This device is basically a radio tuner that scans radio frequencies at a rate of fifteen hundredths of a second to create white noise that spirits can use to communicate with us! 

**Penelope:** _ *she throws her hands up in exasperation*  _ That’s pseudoscience at BEST!

_ [Soft noises start to emit from the spirit box. In between the white noise a voice with a warm tone is heard.] _

**_SPIRIT BOX TRANSCRIPT_ **

**“quiet...*white noise* pat- pa- patiennn...ce *white noise* not ... yet...*white noise*”**

  
  


**Baz**

I’ve never been one to fully believe in the paranormal. Yes...we have the old family stories of ghosts on our estate, but I’ve always chalked it up to leaky pipes and old paneling. This, however, is something else entirely. Shepard looks back at us with glee in his eyes while Bunce is rolling hers. Simon looks like he’s pretending he’s not scared.

“The forums are gonna have a field day with this stuff!” Shepard exclaims as he clicks off the device. “I think it’s time we split up and set up the other cameras.” He’s digging in his seemingly endless bag and shoves a small camcorder and tripod into Simon’s arms. 

“Sp-split up? Hah, ok, um where to?” Simon is stuttering and looking paler than usual. Is he really actually scared?

“You and Baz are gonna set up the camera downstairs in the basement! They say the old printing press will move on its own and I’d like to see if we can catch movement.” He tosses me two torches and moves towards Bunce, “and we are going to the third floor to see if those old paintings move!”

I peer over to Simon who is now, weirdly, wearing a bright blush across his stupidly gorgeous freckled cheeks. Still, I  _ cannot  _ read into this. He’s just embarrassed he has to be around me while he’s scared. I bump his shoulder with mine and smirk, “Alright Snow? Let’s go catch a ghost.”

He looks up at me and chuckles, then smiles.  _ Fuck, he’s blinding, even in this darkness he shines like the sun.  _

“Right then, yeah, let’s go.” He leads the way. I follow. I’d follow him anywhere.


	3. Not These Idiots!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bless [Aristocratic Otter](https://aristocratic-otter.tumblr.com/) for being the grammar goddess for this chapter. It was a doozy of forgotten commas as usual.

**Shep**

Pen’s poking around the area, talking about how, even though it’s all a hoax, she hopes this gets people interested in the history of the building. She looks adorable trying to reach up and grab a book off the top shelf. I make my way over and pull it down for her. She pouts at me.

“I could have got it, Shepard.” she protests. I put my hands up in defense and chuckle. 

“Of course, of course.” I continue to film; if anything this will make great B roll for the final edit. That’s when I feel it. A freezing chill behind me. 

_**[Handheld NightVision Cam Footage Oct. 31 2018 11:11pm] Audio and Visual Transcription]** _

_[Camera whips around to show the wall behind Shepard. The camera is in night vision mode and there is nothing else we see that is out of the ordinary. The camera whips back around and lands on the figure identified as “Pen.”]_

**Shepard:** Pen! Did you feel that? 

**Penelope:** Feel what? *she closes the book she had been flipping through* Honestly Shepard, you’re spooking yourself.

**Shepard:** Seriously, it was so cold for a second! I swear I heard a woman whisper behind me! *the camera pans back to where Shepard felt something and then jerks down instantly* FUCK!

_[Audio only]_

**Penelope:** Christ on a bike Shep! What is wrong?

**Shepard:** Saw a shadow! I swear..I did! You gotta believe me, Pen!

_[The camera is jostled a bit, then pans back up and Shepard is pointing the camera at himself. He looks a little spooked, but is now smiling.]_

**Shepard:** I’m sure the people on the forums will confirm my sighting!

**Penelope:** *scoffs* Of course they will.

_[Shepard seems to blush at that, he sports an embarrassed grin and his eyes flick to the side for just a moment. Just as he’s about to speak there is a banging noise coming from somewhere.]_

**Penelope:** Oh what now!?

_[The camera turns back to Penelope and we hear more banging, now coming from, what seems like all around the area. Shepard pans up to one of the portraits and it starts to shake. The camera quickly pans back to Penelope.]_

**Penelope:** *her eyes are wide* It’s gotta be the wind, this building is old! It’s drafty!

**Shepard:** I really don’t think it’s the wind…

_[The banging picks back up again and then the portrait on the wall falls to the floor with a loud bang. Penny shrieks.]_

**Penelope:** *she quickly walks towards Shepard and grabs his wrist* Ok, let’s go find the boys, I’m done with ghosts for today!

_[The camera jostles and we hear the two bickering. It powers off.]_

**Simon**

We set up the camera in the printing press room with little hassle. I go to touch the press and Baz reaches out to stop me. Our fingers brush for a second and it’s like a tiny bolt of lighting courses through me. Static shock? Then why is my face so warm?

“It’s old,” he whispers, “you need to be gentle with it.”

His hair is falling in front of his face, but I can see a small blush spreading on his cheeks. I feel bad, I didn’t mean to embarrass him. I remember him saying that this was a favorite room of his late mother’s; she was the previous Director, and he would play down here in the play room one door over, as a kid. 

“Sorry, I’ll be careful,” I whisper back (I’m not sure why we’re whispering, to be honest) and I press my fingers down on cool metal. “Will you tell me how it worked?” I look back at him and his eyes light up. He tells me at length about the plates and how certain letters were struck from languages to save on costs all with this beautiful grin on his face. It makes him look soft, softer than the usual gloom and doom he gives off during work. I figure that maybe he’s just tired after uni and he’s not all that posh and pratty after all. He takes a breath and the way his lips move makes something come alive in me and then my mind has the thought _“kiss him.”_ I realize very quickly and all too intensely... _oh_ ... _I fancy Baz._

That’s when the door slams shut and I jump.

**_[Tripod NightVision Cam Footage Oct. 31 2018 11:11pm] Audio and Visual Transcription]_ **

  
  


_[Muffled sounds of feet shuffling and breathing are heard. Suddenly a torch switches on and Basil is now visible. He shines it towards the corner of the press. Simon is looking around, wide-eyed.]_

**Baz:** _*he switches on the other torch and tosses it to Simon*_ Here, take this; I’m going to try the door, you scaredy cat.

**Simon:** _*he barely catches the torch, and glares a bit at Baz*_ M’not a scaredy-cat! A door closing loudly, leaving you in a PITCH BLACK room, is universally a bit frightening don’t you think?

**Baz:** mmm...I suppose. _*he jiggles the handle of the door, giving a few tugs*_ Door’s locked, can you text one of the others to come get us?

**Simon:** Baz...there’s no service down here! There never has been!

**Baz:** What? _*he digs his phone out of his pocket and holds it above his head*_ Shit...how did I not know this?

**Simon:** I mean, your supply closet isn’t down here, so I suppose that could do it. _*he moves closer to Baz*_

**Baz:** Fuck it all! _*he kicks the door, turns around, and slumps against the far wall*_ This is not how I wanted this evening to go.

**Simon:** Thought you weren’t afraid of the ghosts? What’s wrong? _*he sits down next to Baz*_ C’mon all we have to do is wait for them to come down here when they're done filming.

**Baz:** I’m not afraid of ghosts, Snow. *whispered* I’m just not fond of...dark, enclosed spaces.

_[Simon looks back and forth between Baz and the door and scooches a bit closer to him.]_

**Simon:** Hey, let’s play 20 questions!

**Baz:** What?

**Simon:** We go back and forth asking each other questions! Figured it’d, y’know...distract you until we’re found?

**Baz:** _*he turns away from Simon for a second and tries to suppress a grin*_ Sure Simon, let’s do your 20 questions thing.

**Simon**

He called me Simon. I know I’m smiling like an idiot, but I don’t really care. We’ve been going back and forth for about 5 minutes now, and I’ve learned that he’s got four younger siblings, likes mint aero bars, and is getting his master’s degree in Classic Literature. He lights up when he talks about things that interest him and it’s really lovely. I’m trying to listen to him, but my mind keeps wandering to ways to ask if he’s single without seeming weird. Or if he’s into blokes. _Am I into blokes?_ I suppose I’m into at least one. Whatever. 

“So, do you have a girlfriend?” I ask. He looks taken aback, and I internally cringe and stare at my lap. He’s probably thinking, what a weird thing to ask in the middle of talking about different nineteenth century authors.

He coughs. “Uh...no, they’re not...my type.”

I snap my head back up to him. “What...is your type?”

He stares at me and raises an eyebrow. “Men.”

Ah. Well. At least I know I have a shot?

“Snow,” he continues, “I have a rainbow pin on my lanyard and you see me everyday.” He chuckles then. “You’re a bit thick, you know that?”

I smile. “Are thick men your type?” I brave the question, hoping I’m not reading too much into our interaction.

He snorts a bit, and then breaks into full bellied laughter. “Snow, you gorgeous idiot!” he wheezes, then takes a few breaths and continues, “In fact...they are.”

I lean in.

**_[Tripod NightVision Cam Footage Oct. 31 2018 11:30pm] Audio and Visual Transcription_ **

_[Simon leans into Baz. Their lips meet. The camera image starts to distort then quickly shorts out.]_

**Baz**

He kisses like he does everything else, with reckless abandon. His lips are warm against mine and I sigh into his mouth like I’ve been waiting for this my entire life. I sort of have been. Hell, I’m living a charmed life. His hands reach up to my cheeks and cups my face so softly, like I’d break if he pressed down too hard. It’s a wild juxtaposition with how his mouth is working over mine. I’m not sure where to put my hands, but my hindbrain decides upon his tousled curls, which is a great idea because he lets out a gasp that I would kill to hear again. I drag my nails gently over his scalp and am rewarded again with a sigh. 

His tongue peeks out and asks for entry, licking at my bottom lip. I allow it. My lips part and he deepens the kiss. I’m heating up from the inside out. His hands move down to my waist and pull me closer until I’m practically straddling him. A thought passes briefly through my head that we should turn off the camera, but as soon as it enters it exits again, when he nips at my jaw. I gasp as he works his expert mouth down my neck. I’m thinking about telling him we should stop, that Bunce and Shepard could be here at any moment.

That’s when the door swings open. Speak of the curly haired devils.

**__**

**_[Main Reading Room: Security Cam 1 Footage Oct. 31 2018 11:56pm] Audio and Visual Transcription_ **

_ [The gang are seen packing up equipment. Baz and Simon are standing next to each other while Penelope animatedly tells Agatha what she missed.] _

**Penelope:** We caught them making out, Ags! Seriously, of all places!

**Agatha:** _ *she’s giggling*  _ Finally, I had money on tonight.  _ *she extends her hand to where Shepard is zipping up the equipment bag*  _

**Shepard:** _ *he sighs and fishes his wallet from his jacket pocket*  _ Yeah yeah, a deal’s a deal. Seriously though, Agatha, you didn’t hear anything? See anything?

**Agatha:** Nope, it was pretty dead down here.  _ *she winks at everyone*  _ Hah, get it?

_ [Everyone groans. Simon grabs Baz’s hand and kisses his shoulder.] _

**Simon:** That still doesn’t explain why the doors were slamming and locked behind us.

**Penelope:** Si, I told you already  _ *she crosses her arms*  _ the door wasn’t locked when we got there.

_ [Simon looks up at Baz and shrugs. Baz snickers] _

**Shepard:** Well, then how do you explain the rattling portraits, Pen?  _ *he rests his head on top of hers* _

**Penelope:** _ *she blushes*  _ The WIND of course! 

_ [Laughter is heard as they leave, as well as the turning of a key in the lock.] _

  
  


**_[First Floor Stacks: Security Cam 4 Footage Nov. 01 2018 12:00am] Audio and Visual Transcription_ **

_ [A book on a shelf shifts a bit. All of a sudden, two spectral figures are barely seen.] _

**Specter 1** [curly hair, broad shoulders, smiling] **:** My how they grow up. My rosebud boy…

**Specter 2** [long straight hair, high cheekbones, smirking slightly]: I think we did a lovely job helping them out, don’t you think?

**Specter 1:** Mm, they are quite fond of each other, aren’t they?

**Specter 2:** Quite, I suppose all they needed was a little push.

_ [As quickly as the specters appear, they vanish. The book falls off the shelf.] _

**_End Transcription._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much fun writing this and I hope everyone has fun reading it! Happy Halloween Jay! I hope you like the ending!

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr at peachpit-gabe! Check out my art as well while you are there!


End file.
